The other day I gave myself permission
I think we can all agree, that there is something going on in the energy all around us. There are signs all over Starting with how we each have been feeling. I love how it keeps coming down to how we are feeling. When my book, A Spiritual How-To was written back in 2017, the word feel was bolded through out the book. That is how critical feeling is in our journey. So what have you been feeling? The month of June has been one of the more intense on record. There has been a definite feeling of not doing things that I want to do. The body has been having it's own challenges and lack of sleep comes into play. Then to top it off others around have been affecting me (us) as well. For myself I have to admit I have been struggling. And even that has been unclear. It's just this odd feeling. On one hand it feels like I should be doing something. To me this is the very much human aspect of myself. Yet on the other hand taking me time seems to be happening more frequently. Repetitiveness to life, like I feel caught in a cycle. I am going through the motions, yet some pretty cool things are showing up. Then in a blink of an eye I am questioning what I am doing again. Ugh...!!! In fact it feels like spoke of this in a previous email. I guess it bares repeating... the energy is wonky all around us. Comically I want to rant and rave but I have no actual topic. The day to day things are just that yet I want to weep about them. Geesh, what's going on? Two weeks ago in two different conversations with two different people I was, in essence, given permission to not do something. That it was okay to take the space (or time) I needed. It's almost comical that I had been telling others this but failed to do it myself.
The hard pushing, the hours at the computer, the hours of participating in the many business things I felt I needed to do.
The second beautiful soul confirmed with the alignment of the moon and planets that I did indeed need to take care of me. That was the morning I gave short notice to the Empowering The Healer Within community that I was incapable of holding a call. At that point I literally went back to bed for a couple of hours.
Then this past week another beautiful soul made the hard decision to take a break from a program she loved. When we were speaking about it, I mentioned how proud of her I was for taking care of herself. She also said it was a good opportunity to integrate what she has learned, what she has connected to.
This in turn gave me permission to reach out to one of my coaches. I thought I wanted to take a break too. However just before that meeting was one of that group’s acct ability calls. I realized I really appreciated those calls.
So before the coach call my emotions were running high. My mind was jumping to all kinds of conclusions. However what I did get was a safe space to be heard. She heard me and most importantly I heard me. I also had a bit of a sob fest release.
I put to voice many of the things that had me in a state overwhelm. Not the stories but more like an itemized list. She didn’t judge me so that gave me even more permission to not judge myself. It’s amazing how the human mind plays games. As the saying goes, “walk a mile in my shoes.” We have no idea until we do. So I walked a mile in my own shoes and realized that I do have a lot going on.
This permission thing really jumped up when I was on a recent mtn bike ride. I gave myself permission to stop and turn around instead of pushing my body past its limits. Therefore I prevented lasting pain and had a much quicker recovery. I kept doing this. I kept giving myself permission to take care of my needs. I invite you to do the same.
Or maybe you need to be given permission to take care of you. If that is the case I give you permission.